I Do Be Da Pittiest Pittiest Girl I Do Be Dat

This one is close to home. One lazy lollygagging afternoon I turn on the boobtube. I don't know...something to do while having lunch? I can see how people get hooked on daytime TV now.

But in getting to the meaty stuff you have to go through Alot of BAD commercials. I've watched waaaaay too many friggin commercials on Brooks College, Westwood College, Meric College. What kind of a college is it that you get motivated to go to from sitting on your arse all day? Just like you, I used to sit in front of the TV all day eating bon bons getting fat and watching Jerry Springer, then I saw a commercial on COLLEGE FLYBYNIGHT and it's changed my life for the better, Forever! Now after only studying 6 weeks I'm a certified dental hygienist and can afford to send my 5 kids to Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Standford, and UCLA. All thanks to FLYBYNIGHT College. I'm now also prettier than I was in my Before shots and I'm in a uniform so you know I must be professional! Call FLYBYNIGHT Today! ...Why? Because I did.

So anyways don't you just hate it when you obsess over stuff you hate like awful bandwagon commercials? Do it because I did...and look at me now! Oh yeah, I'm dialing as we speak!

Back to the meat...Starting Over House and Life Coaches! There's this one slightly overweight, not that attractive, middle aged woman who I relate to. And her life coach brings her this sculpture that seems to be made out of masking tape. Just layers and layers of it wound around and around to form the shape of what looks to her to be two women.

Life Coach: What do you see?
Woman Damaged Beyond Repair Who Thinks She'll Solve It On TV
(W.D.B.R.W.T.S.S.I.O.T): I see me and my mom.
I see love.
It's a very loving relationship. Giving. Sharing.
(interject your awwws HERE)
Life Coach: I want you to peel off that tape and see what's underneath(W.D.B.R.W.T.S.S.I.O.T): She's peeling off all the tape and doesn't know what she'll find underneath but suspects it to be two dolls that have just been mummified with the packaging tape. But as she's peeling away it changes shape and becomes smaller and smaller until it's something totally different and discovers...IT's a Heart...Cracked in Half.
Life Coach: Comes back from a donut break (I suspect cuz she's packing some herself there) Now what did you find underneath all that tape?
(W.D.B.R.W.T.S.S.I.O.T): A broken heart. It wasn't love at all!
Life Coach: You can't give something you haven't got. (OUCH mutha!)

Basically Life Coach tells W.D.B.R.W.T.S.S.I.O.T that it's okay to have a broken heart, it's okay to have problems and issues, it's okay, the real problem was how she dealt with it. Was by dressing it up into something else making it look like something entirely different and MASKING it. It's not nice and it's not pretty, It's definately not love. So this grown woman has been trying to pass herself off as something she wasn't her whole life. AND this is who I identify with? Fuck yeah, sadly it's true. Sheeet I even made it my profession...dang packaging designer...oh yeah I know how to make nickel and dime items look money baby. Hence the end of that chapter. Letting go of the pretty packaging because it's okay to be broken...